How to throw a Valentine Exchange Party

You might have seen the announcement of our 3rd Annual Valentine Exchange. It’s our way to gather this wonderful community (17 years now! Can you believe it?!) and celebrate each other, our creativity, and just have some plain old fashion girlfriend fun. While the exchange is open to everyone around the world and takes place through snail mail, I LOVE an in person event and a Valentine exchange party is so so fun. I hosted my first one last year and thought I’d share some tips on how to do it with our ever festive friends at MacKenzie-Childs, who are making the party so charming and rosy!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Brittany Jepsen — The House That Lars Built (@houselarsbuilt)

What is a Valentine Exchange party?

In a nutshell, a Valentine’s Exchange party is where you bring valentines and trade them around with people. When I first moved to Utah, about 12 years ago now, a new friend at the time invited me to come over to an exchange party. I didn’t really know anyone since I was so new so this was such a great way to meet people and I’ll be forever grateful for it because it brought me to some of my best friends in the world! And that’s the beauty of this specific type of party. It forces you to meet everyone in the room. Sorry, introverts!

Here are some tips I learned from hosting my first one last year and what I’d do differently this year.

Step 1: Plan Your Guest List

Start by deciding who you want to invite. Will it be a cozy gathering with close friends or a larger celebration? In my dreams I’m hosting everyone I know, but I know my house and my bandwidth cannot accompany that many people. Knowing your guest list will help you plan the scale of your event and tailor the activities accordingly.

For this type of party, it’s a good idea to limit the number of guests to ensure everyone has time to connect and exchange Valentines. I decided on about 20. I thought it was big enough for my space, but small enough where we could all converse.

I decided to add variety to my guest list by including people who didn’t necessarily know each other. I included some people who I hadn’t seen in years or had never really spent time with at all. It was fun to see people’s reactions too–”are you sure you meant to send this to me?” Hahaha. Yup, you!

Step 2: Send out the invites

Because of the nature of the party, you’ll need to allow your guests lots of time to make or plan their valentines. 2 weeks in advance is standard for a typical party, but I find that this one needs additional time. 3-even 4 weeks is more comfortable. I had a couple of friends ask months in advance if I was doing it again so they could have lots of time to make theirs. I’m in the same boat!

While I ADORE paper invitations, they can get a little overwhelming for me so I send out text invitations with a cute graphic attached. I’ve been using HiNote for my invitations and adore their whole collection.

Step 3: Choose a Theme

While Valentine’s Day itself provides a theme, adding a unique twist can make your party stand out. Here are a few ideas:

Retro Valentine: Think 1950s-inspired decor, vintage heart-shaped candy boxes, and retro tunes. This was more or less what I did last year when I created all those fake cakes. I used them as decor around the room along with lots of pink and red balloons.
Pink Checkerboard: Embrace soft pinks and classic checkerboard. This is what I’m doing this year! I ADORE the Rosy Check collection at MacKenzie-Childs and decided to lean into the theme hard! I’ll be using some key pieces to set the stage for the table spread.
Floral Fantasy: Incorporate fresh flowers, botanical patterns, and garden-inspired elements.
Love Letters: Decorate with envelopes, calligraphy, and romantic quotes.

Step 4: Set the Scene

Create a festive and inviting atmosphere with decorations that fit your theme. Start with a color palette centered around classic Valentine’s shades like red, pink, and white, or opt for the softer tones of your chosen theme.

Because my theme for this year is Pink Checkerboard, I collected some gorgeous items to set the table like their Rosy Check dessert plates, vase, pitcher, pink striped napkins, a couple of large round trays. They have these adorable XO and heart trays that are tooo cute and perfect for Valentine’s Day. I got a large Rosy Check bowl, and compote, which I’m using to hold the valentines I’m giving out (more on that below). I’m also mixing in a couple of items that I got for Christmas like their bow candlestick holder, which is basically amazing for every holiday.

I don’t like things to be too too perfect, so I like to mix a few other pieces into the mix and shades of darker reds and pinks to go with the light pastels.

Decor Ideas:

Don’t forget to include a designated area for the Valentine exchange! Decorate a table or set up individual mailboxes or baskets for guests to drop off and pick up their cards.

Step 5: The Exchange logistics

The actual exchange portion of the event starts by

Introducing the guests (optional but I always find it helpful for the conversation part). We go around the room and say who we are, a fun fact, what we brought
Explaining the rules
The exchange

The Valentines

If you’re keeping your guest list large you might consider what I did last year–giving your guests a cap of how many to bring. Even though I invited 20, I limited the number of valentines to ten so it wasn’t as overwhelming. In reality, if your guest IS overwhelmed, they can really bring as many as they can.

The games

You could also add in some fun table games. We have these printable Valentine games that would be perfect for it!

Valentine ideas

ALSO! You know I love a good handmade moment, but I’m also aware that not everyone is up for the challenge so I leave it open to store bought too. Last year someone brought sodas with a cute cut out that wrapped around the can, someone brought little handheld fans with angel wings attached for “you are the wind beneath my wings”. Someone hand embroidered little pin cushions that read “je t’aime”. My illustrator friend brought a card she designed with a girl weightlifting and attached a barrette as the weight. It was ALL across the board and it was all FABULOUS! Last year I decided to make 20 fake cakes (remember this fake cake post?). It took me a full week but it was so much fun to try out.

This year I’ll be handing out these gorgeous heart candles from MacKenzie-Childs for each guest. Aren’t they too much?! I’m going to wrap them in some pretty paper to go with them. I love the idea of having festive candles ready to go for every holiday and these are a perfect little handout.

TIP: One thing I’d note as host–come supplied with gift bags or boxes for each guest to take around the room with them as they collect their valentines. Some will be awkward sizes and will be uncomfortable to drag around the room.

How long?

I set a timer for 5 minutes and then the exchange begins. They will meet the person and trade valentines. Someone needs to keep the timer (this was me last year) to keep everyone on track.

Once it’s done people will hopefully be chatting and you can let the party run the course!

Step 6: Curate a Delicious Menu

No party is complete without tasty treats! For a Valentine’s party, focus on sweets and snacks that tie into the theme. Last year I planned it for early afternoon so I had some light lunch options along with lots of treats. This year it’s at night, but I’ll probably do something similar.

Food Ideas:

Heart-shaped finger sandwiches
A charcuterie board with red and pink accents (think strawberries, raspberries, and rose-shaped salami)
Chocolate-dipped strawberries
Mini cupcakes with heart sprinkles

I still need to create my menu for this year, but I’m using my pieces from MacKenzie-Childs to guide me to what types of foods to create. I got two big round trays, which would be perfect for the sandwiches or charcuterie. I got the lemon arugula salad mixes from Trader Joes to add to my Rosy Check bowl. It’s such a yummy salad!

I always like to stock up on treats and candies from Trader Joes and using my MacKenzie-Childs heart and the Rosy XO dishes are perfect for it!

Drink Ideas:

A signature cocktail or mocktail in pink or red, like a strawberry lemonade spritzer
Hot cocoa with whipped cream and heart-shaped marshmallows
A tea station with floral blends

Step 7: Capture the Memories

I forgot to take pictures last year, but honestly, with my job, it feels a little more special to keep it that way (ha!) but this year I want to make it a point to snap some shots to remember everyone who came.

Step 8: Tips for Hosting Success

Plan Ahead: Prep as much as possible in advance so you can relax and enjoy the party with your guests.
Delegate: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Enlist a friend to assist with setting up, running activities, or keeping the food table stocked.
Keep It Simple: While it’s tempting to go all out, remember that the goal is to create a warm and welcoming environment. Focus on a few standout elements rather than overloading yourself with too many details.

Get the Look:

MacKenzie-Childs set the perfect stage for my party this year and I cannot wait to do it again! Let me know in the comments if you have any questions about how to throw a Valentine Exchange party!

This post is sponsored by MacKenzie-Childs

why I only wear dresses

Explore over 5000 posts

By Brittany